30 Somethings
by Nephthys Snape
Summary: Theme based snippets of life with Dante and Vergil. Rated to be safe. Yaoi.
1. Pink Panties

Disclaimer – Characters belong to Capcom and their creator(s)

Disclaimer – Characters belong to Capcom and their creator(s).

30 Something - Pink Panties

Vergil was use to his brother's behavior. All the many quirks that made up who Dante was. So, it was no news or surprise to him that his twin (and lover) was a pig. And, while he, himself, would win no sensitivity awards, Dante took it to levels he never would. That, and he just hated to be disrespected, which he felt his brother was doing. Again, not surprising.

Currently, the 'red' twin was busy sipping a beer, since yet another bar did not offer his beloved strawberry sundaes. This behavior was not what had Vergil gripping his own tumbler of scotch tight enough it was close to shattering. No, it was what his twin found so entertaining, he didn't seem capable of removing his eyes from it.

"Dante, if you wish to even _think_ about having sex anytime soon, you will cease staring at that woman's ass!" Vergil hissed out with a growl. The other Sparda had been doing so for the last _fifteen_ minutes, at least.

"I can't help it!" Dante defended, lamely. It wasn't his fault that, not only was it a fine ass, but it stuck out like a neon sign.

Vergil quirked a brow. Surely even Dante could do better than _that_! "If that is all the better you can do. I'm going home, and don't expect to sleep _anywhere_ but the couch anytime soon. Shouldn't be hard for you, as much as you sleep on it during the day, when you should be working."

"Woah. Hey. Calm down, Verg." Dante put his hands up before Vergil really got going about his work ethic. "Don't get your panties in a bunch. You know I'm just looking."

"You aren't helping you situation," Vergil intoned darkly.

"I really can't help it, Vergil. Look at it! Sticks out in the crowd, demands attention." Dante waved in the general direction of the woman.

Vergil sighed to himself. His brother really should think before speaking. But, against better judgment, he looked. At first, it escaped him what Dante could possibly find so attention grabbing, even keeping in mind how his brother's mind worked. Then, she stepped into better lighting.

He wrinkled his nose in disgust. What he saw was hideous, and even the straightest, macho guy around would know it was a fashion disaster. He wondered, a moment, if she was likely a whore, but even they knew better. That just meant she was blind or a complete idiot.

The woman wore bright pink panties under thin, skin tight cotton hot pants. Vergil seriously felt the urge to throw up. "_That_ is horrid."

"It's like a train wreck." Dante smirked. "But, now you can't blame me. It's not my fault." He eyed Vergil. "Right?" He did his best not to sound hopeful. He'd grown to be very fond of sleeping with his twin, and the idea of no sex with him nearly made Dante want to grovel.

"This time, _but_ you're making it up to me." He smirked. "And, I know just how you will."

Dante hoped the smirk meant something dirty, but deep in his gut knew it meant nothing good. For him, at least.


	2. Red Tie

Disclaimer – chapter one

Disclaimer – chapter one

30 Something - Red Tie

Dante hated Vergil. Really and truly hated him at the moment. He knew the smirk his brother had given him, after his staring at the fashion train wreck at the bar the week before, had boded ill. Boy, had he been right.

It was no secret to anyone that Vergil was the more cultured of the two. Least of all Dante. Still, even he haad been left speechless and spluttering when Vergil informed him they were going to the opera. He, _Dante, Son of Sparda_, was being taken (by force, mind you) to the _opera_. The _**OPERA**_!

And, to pile the indignities, he had to wear a suit. A _**SUIT**_!! Yes, he hated his brother with a passion.

"You look fine. Stop fidgeting," Vergil spoke, not looking from the program he was reading.

"I _know_ I look good. I _hate_ wearing monkey suits." He tugged yet again at his tie in annoyance. No amount of arguing had gotten him out of wearing it. Vergil had even selected the color and put it on him, almost as though he were a child. Of course, seeing as he had been telling him to stop acting like one at the time . . .

"Stop that." Vergil reached over and straightened the red tie. He had to admit, his twin looked more than good or fine. He looked sexy, downright fuckable. The all black suit and shirt contrasted perfectly with his pale skin and hair, as well as the tie. Dressed in the same manner, though his tie was a blue that brought out his eyes, he knew the two of them were the best looking people there. And, this conclusion had nothing to do with his egotism. "Behave for just one night, Dante." At least they were alone in their balcony seats. It paid to be the brother with money.

Dante gave a small pout that was hidden slightly by his glare. "Fine." He slouched in his seat and resigned himself to hours of sore ears and boredom. If nothing else, he could watch Vergil enjoy the music, the story, the drama. One of the perks of demon sight, he didn't need much light to watch his brother's face open up, show emotions as the story and music moved him.

Once it was over, Vergil surprised his brother by reaching over and grabbing the tie Dante had played with all night. Tugging, he pulled Dante forward and kissed his breath away. "Let's go home. I think I should reward your good behavior." He smirked.

Dante grinned, barely containing a whoop before grabbing Vergil's hand and pulling him outside.


	3. Black Stockings

They'd been having this debate for the last five minutes, since Dante had discovered a pair of stockings Trish had left behind when she'd stayed there. "You have no sense of style!" Dante informed his unamused twin, while waving around the pair of women's black stockings. Vergil had immediately told him to burn them, wanting nothing of the blond whore's anywhere near him, but Dante had distracted him instantly from that by saying Vergil should put them on and model them. Something Vergil would rather go to hell, ten times over, before doing.

Vergil did not look up from where he was busy preparing a nice _edible_ dinner for them, or at least what he conceived as edible. Dante had petulantly whined about wanting pizza instead of some fancy food he could barely pronounce. "They're just stockings, Dante. They do not change the way a woman looks, and do not make them look sexier. And, whether they do or not, has nothing to do with my sense of style. I dress ten times better than you."

Dante responded, while reaching forward to stick his finger in the sauce on the stove behind his brother, "Just because it cost more, doesn't mean it looks better."

Without even looking, or stopping his vegetable chopping, Vergil scolded him. "If you don't want that finger to become part of our meal, keep it out of the food." He dropped some carrots into a pot beside him. "Don't pout like that," he continued, still not looking at his brother, "it makes lines on your face."

Dante rolled his eyes, and muttered under his breath about snooty bastards, before walking out of the kitchen. Vergil was pleased with the lack of distraction and, more importantly, lack of noise.

Vergil had a good five minutes of silence before Dante came strutting back into the kitchen. Turned to the stove, he paid no attention to what his brother was doing, but the other's silence was a bit unnerving, as was the lack of boot falls as he entered. A tingling on the back of his neck told Vergil he'd better turn around and see what his brother was up to this time.

Certainly, the sight that greeted him was far from what he would ever expect from his twin. And, the only honest thing he could do was bust out laughing at the sight presented to him, earning a glare from Dante, as well as a huff of annoyance.

He continued to glare as his brother continued to laugh and lean on the counter, so he wouldn't fall down in his humor. "I don't look that bad." Dante crossed his arms and tapped his not quite bare foot on the floor.

Taking a few moments to contain his laughter, Vergil straightened himself and cleared his throat, though he continued to smirk. "You look," he informed the other man, "completely ridiculous." And, he did, clad only in the black stockings he'd been waving around not so long before. What kind of grown man stripped off all his clothes and pulled on black stockings? If it didn't look good on women, it looked down right stupid on Dante.

Dante tried to pout and glare at the same time as he put his hands on his hips. "It's not that bad! I'm trying to make a point here!"

Vergil snorted. "Oh, you've done a very good job of proving _my_ point." He smirked at his twin. "Now, go put some clothes on. You standing in here like that can't be sanitary." Especially since his brother was beginning to make a rather ... physical point.

The brasher of the two settled for the glare. "I'm clean." He crossed his arms and tapped his stocking covered foot again, looking somewhat petulant.

A gaze was leveled on Dante's groin. "Be that as it may, you don't appear to be in the condition to stay that way."

With a smirk, Dante shifted his hips slightly. "You could turn the stove off and come help me with my soon-to-be mess." He un-crossed his arm and let them hang at his sides, one hand moving to rest on his stomach, just below his navel.

Vergil quirked a brow. "Not while you're wearing those ridiculous stockings." They really made it hard to take Dante seriously, harder than normal, technically.

Dante turned and strutted from the room, ass swaying so so. "If you think they look that bad, come take them off of me." He smirked over his shoulder before leaving the room.

The food was turned off and covered. All of it would keep, and if not, it'd be worth it to let it ruin. Worth it to take those horrid stockings off his brother, then tie him up with them. With a smug smirk, he followed his twin. Maybe black stockings were useful for something after all.


	4. Blues Music

Vergil neared the shop, hearing the cursing and banging shortly before he even opened he door. From the sound of things, Dante was fighting with his jukebox, again. And, it indeed was the sight that greeted him as he entered.

He leaned against the door and crossed his arms, watching his hotheaded brother curse again and kick the jukebox. "You're just going to make it worse."

Dante growled as he again gave it a hard kick. "Damn thing never works!" Still no life came from the colorful machine. "I've had it." He turned to retrieve Ivory, deciding to he was going to finally put the dysfunctional box out of his misery.

As he turned to get the gun, static sounded from the speakers a moment, as if the jukebox was valiantly pleading for its life. He paused long enough for it to randomly select a record and begin to play. The record was one of the few he, personally, didn't much care for. Vergil had put it in the jukebox.

Vergil smirked as one of his favorite Blues songs, and he didn't like many, began to play. He nearly chuckled at the resigned look on his twin's face. Dante cared even less for most Blues than he did. A reason he'd even forgot he had the record, let alone that it was in the jukebox.

Growling a bit to himself, Dante marched over to the jukebox to 'convince' the infernal machine to change music. For now, without his gun. He was getting more and more in the mood for something hard and loud, something to match his irritation.

Walking over to his brother, Vergil spoke up, "Wait." Dante paused just short of his destination. Vergil gave the other a smirk. "Dance with me." They never danced, and Vergil wanted to experience it, at least once.

Dante gave him an incredulous look. "To Blues?" He asked, with a tone to match. "How do you dance to this?" Vergil had to be out of his mind.

He pulled his brother into his arms. "You can dance to anything," he reasoned. "Humor me, if nothing else." He gave him a small kiss. They both knew it was usually Vergil humoring Dante. So, the brash twin could hardly deny the humble request.

The rhythm of the dance Vergil set hardly matched the tempo of the song, but it didn't really matter to either. Dancing was just an excuse to hold onto one another in a simple, close embrace that closely resembled cuddling. Technically, it was still dancing, and they'd never admit to anything else.

Even as the song ended and went into the next, Vergil made no indication he wished to end the dance. Not the bumping, grinding, gyrating Dante was use to, and preferred, he likewise made no move to break away from his twin.

For some time, they simply held onto each other, which they usually only did when sleeping. When they finally pulled apart, Dante gave Vergil a smile most people rarely, if ever, saw. An open, honest smile that showed a depth most thought Dante lacked. It was a smile that told Vergil his brother loved him. "I guess you can dance to Blues," Dante said, softly.

Vergil smiled at his brother, kissing him slow and soft. A kiss that curled toes and made the heart beat faster but wasn't sexual in nature. "Of course. Haven't you learned yet that I'm _always_ right?" He smirked at the other Son of Sparda.

Rolling his eyes, Dante kissed his twin, neither thinking, nor wanting, to complain about the Blues playing in the background.


	5. White Socks

_He only did it because it pissed his brother off. Why, he had no idea. It had nothing to do with him, had no effect on him. Yet, he always made such a fuss about it. A fuss that was hard to follow, so he never really listened to it. Probably one of the reasons he didn't understand._

_So, Dante started doing it on purpose. There was no set schedule for when. Sometimes weeks passed between each incident, and sometimes it happened every week. Vergil was threatening retribution, but he had yet to do anything._

_It was only a matter of time before they came to a final confrontation about it..._

Vergil sighed to himself. He closed the top drawer of his brother's chest of drawers with a small amount of resignation. Dante hadn't had fun with his socks in a while, and Vergil had little doubt his twin would soon. It was only a matter of time.

His twin was currently out cleaning up some mess Lady had gotten herself into, again. And, like always, Dante was going to come home without any pay. Even with Vergil trying to keep him in the black, an impossible task if anyone asked him, Lady always found some way or another to keep from paying Dante, or getting whatever pay was owed him for herself.

It at least meant that Dante wouldn't be in the mood to run around in his socks, getting them so dirty it took soaking to get the grime out of them. He had tried to tell him that they were white because they were meant to be white, and also because darker colors only made feet sweat more, but Dante didn't seem to ever understand. He imagined it was because his brother simply ignored what he was saying.

Deciding not to worry about his brother or his socks, he made his way downstairs to make Dante a pizza, for his ordeal of putting up with Lady, while he made himself something actually worth eating.

For three more days, Dante didn't seem to notice the clean white socks in his drawer. But, he was only biding his time until it was perfect to slip them on and aggravate Vergil.

When his brother slipped out to go get some groceries, and the fact that Vergil grocery shopped was still surreal to Dante, he made sure to go out and roam a bit, finding some mud puddles to tromp through with his boots. With plenty of mud on them, he went back to Devil May Cry, tracking it through the office and up the stairs.

Mud in place, he waited until he heard Vergil come home, obvious by the rather loud growling going on downstairs when he saw the mud. Mud and Vergil in place, he pulled on nice clean socks. Smirking, he made his way down the stairs, hitting a few of the muddy spots on his way.

Vergil was busy digging out cleaning supplies and didn't notice Dante at first.

Dante grinned before schooling his features and leaning on the banister of the stairs. "What are you doing?" He asked, sounding clueless that there was any mess that needed cleaned up.

Vergil looked up. "Cleaning up your mess, obviously," he growled, not looking at his brother's feet. "What possessed you to track mud through the place, anyhow?"

Dante blinked innocently and looked around. "Mud? Oops. Guess I didn't notice," he lied smoothly. "I thought I stepped in something wet on my way down the stairs." He picked up one sock covered foot and looked at it curiously.

The sound of the mop handle cracking was very audible as Vergil's eye twitched and his jaw clenched. "You walked through mud with your clean socks?" He asked with a forced calm. "And you didn't think to look at what you stepped in?" Did Dante really think he was that stupid?

Blinking at him in mock innocence, he gave a small smile and scratched the back of his head. "Yeah?"

Vergil let out another growl. "You're impossible. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get those clean _without_ damaging them with chemicals!"

Dante sighed as he rolled his eyes. "You're such a woman," he informed his twin, turning to go back up the stairs and leave Vergil to his cleaning. The even louder snap as the mop splintered in Vergil's grip made him pause and glance over his shoulder. If he didn't know better, he'd say his brother was about to trigger. Then again, he couldn't say he knew better...

The pieces of the mop barely missed Dante as they flew passed his head, making his hair wave in the breeze they caused. Apparently, he'd pushed one button too many.

Vergil seethed as he glared at his brother. "I've had it, Dante. I'm through cleaning up after you, cooking for you, and getting nothing but backhanded compliments and slander for my efforts. I don't have to take care of you, you know. Why the fuck I do is beyond me! From now on, you're on your own." Not paying his twin another glance, he stormed out of the shop.

Dante turned and looked at the door, blinking as he realized that maybe he did take advantage of his brother, too much advantage. He sighed as he walked down the few stairs below him and picked up the groceries Vergil had left sitting on his desk. Once he put them away, he'd clean up the mud and wash his socks.

He could only hope Vergil came back, and he wanted things to be ready for when he did. It also kept him from thinking about how, maybe, he'd just drove the most important person in his life away.


End file.
